I've always known that I wanted more than one kid - I have a sister and I can't imagine my life as an only child. She's one of the few people other than Kev and my parents who I feel really "gets" me. I can completely be myself around her and she still likes me. And we're pretty much unbeatable at Taboo! :) Who wouldn't want that for their kid?
But there are hard parts about being a mama of two. Decisions like, do I stay upstairs with Violet and finish putting her to bed while Lucy screams bloody murder, or do I leave Violet to get Lucy and have her cry instead? Do I put Lucy down juuust when I'm finally getting her to sleep to help Violet on the potty even though she is perfectly capable of doing it herself? And how the heck do I clean my house or get any work done??? I say, "I can't right now" or, "In a few minutes" to Violet so often these days that when I do get a free moment I want to spend it playing with her. Sigh - first world problems.
And there's another layer that I didn't even know would bother me - Violet is doing sooo much more with Kev, and while I completely adore the two of them together, I hate that I am missing out on certain moments. It seems so silly that I can be thrilled about something and mourn it at the same time! I'm happy that their daddy-daughter relationship is getting stronger and that he gets to experience those moments that he's missed out on in the past. Little things like riding with her on the train at the zoo and taking her to the park. They're developing their own Daddy-daughter "things" - picking vegetables from the garden and dance parties and special looks.
And I cherish my one-on-one time with Lucy, because we don't get much of that - sometimes I guess I just want to have my cake and eat it too :) I'm slowly learning that I can't be everywhere and everything for everybody, nor should I be.
One thing I know for sure is that I love both of my girls to the moon and back and they love each other like crazy. I can't wait til they can play together and have inside jokes and share secrets. Sisters are special, and I wouldn't have it any other way.