[Don't] Let Her Eat Cake (Or anything else for that matter)

On her birthday, my daughter will not be doing this:

Instead, she will be playing with some felt. Some clean, non-allergy inducing, soft, fuzzy felt.

Boring? Maybe. Safe? Definitely. Avoiding a trip to the hospital? Well that makes this hunk of felt priceless. We've been working with solid foods again after finally getting the okay from Violet's doctors. So far potatoes, apples, and carrots have all been nothing short of horrific to our pretty little lady. We can't get anything down her gullet but formula, dirt, fuzz, leaves, and chalk. Yes, my daughter will eat chalk but not apples...go figure. The good news is that we have three foods that she hasn't reacted to. The bad news is that we have three foods that she refuses to eat. We've got feeding therapy scheduled for mid-July. Until then, I guess we keep on trying.

Although having a fake cake is the most obvious parter pooper, the thing I am most worried about is accidental exposure. We had a mini party for Violet on Mother's Day with pretty much all adults (Kevin's aunts/Violet's great-aunts), but next weekend we're going to have food and we're going to have kids (Violet's cousins) and we're going to have a lot of 'em. I can picture it in my head. They are going to be romping all over our house and yard, chubby little fingers clenched tightly around a veggie stick or piece of candy...until they see a toy or party favor or insert random object here that they want. Then that little hand will open and the piece of poison will drop from their grasp, forgotten. Only to be retrieved by my little allergy-laden girl who has baby radar (bay-dar?) for all things she isn't supposed to have.

[Love this kid]

Or even better...a well-meaning child will bring her a veggie stick of her very own. Here Violet - have one, it's yummy. And the evil force that is peer pressure will cause my child to actually place food in her mouth and swallow it. These are the scenes that play out in my head lately. Scenes of rogue food, vomiting, dehydration, and hospitals. Not exactly the vision I want to have of my daughter's first birthday.

Unfortunately I don't think our guests would appreciate it if I had all felt food, so do any of you have a brilliant idea on how to help this scared-out-of-her-wits mom relax? Should I assign some poor grandparent, aunt, or uncle to Violet duty? Have them take shifts? What would you do? Please help!


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  1. honestly... I would not do a party like this.
    Ok this might sound extreme and of course a birthday girl deserves a party but seeing what it might take and seeing that nobody will really enjoy this of the important people, meaning you and your family...
    or do it in a parc, somewhere NOT in your house. Better control!
    you had a little party with the people she loves most... the rest... she does not care much anyway...

    if this is no choice/not possible
    make a party zone and explain that people have to stay in that zone incl kids...

    wishing you fun and relaxation :)

  2. Hi Paula! Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately this is actually our immediate family party. The Mother's Day party was Kevin's aunts (Violet's great aunts) This party is VIOLET'S aunts, uncles, and cousins (Our sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews. So it is really the people that she loves most. Otherwise we totally wouldn't be having it, trust me! :)

  3. Mmmm...this is tough. I think since this is your immediate family and everyone (I'm assuming) is aware of Violet's allergies that EVERYONE will be on watch to make sure Violet stays out of the danger zone. What are the age ranges of the children? By the way, I love the felt cupcake. I think it is adorable. I'm sorry that you are having so much trouble with Violet's allergies - I can't imagine how hard that must be. BUT, you have a very happy and beautiful little girl to celebrate and the party will be fantastic!!!
    Oh and I almost forgot - a glass of wine for you if you drink wine.

  4. Since it is a party with immediate family only, could you e-mail the adult guests who are bringing children and make them aware of your concerns. You can tactfully ask them to speak with their children ahead of time about not leaving food where Violet can get to it. Of course this isn't fool-proof. I know children are forgetful (and they drop crumbs!) but even my two year old is surprisingly good about following rules when it comes to things her younger sister isn't supposed to have. I think she loves being "in charge" of someone else for a change.

    If you have some child guests who are a bit older (like the 5-8 years range) you could even designate one or two of them to be 'food police' for the day. Give them a badge and you'll really have some help!

  5. I'm pretty sure that any of her grandparents would LOVE to be on Violet duty, keeping her safe. I don't know a grandparent alive that wouldn't give up anything to help keep their precious grandbabies happy. Some might be better at it than others, watching all the little tykes that come to love on the birthday girl, but having them trade off, or a set of them on watch, would make the party much less stressful for everyone. I'm sure all your brothers/sisters will be watching their own kiddos too knowing what a big deal food is to Violet. Never underestimate a fellow parent :)
    Good luck, have fun, take lots of pictures!!

  6. I think everyone pretty much mentioned what I was thinking. Make everyone aware (like I am sure they are) and the food police is a GREAT idea! You can have the kiddos wear little badge stickers and have them be on the lookout for crumbs and dropped food! Where to get the badge stickers? Maybe Michaels etc. or I am sure your local Police Department has them for the kiddos and wouldn't mind giving you a few ;-)

    I am sure it will all be fine as no one wants anything to happen to Little Miss Violet! She is too cute and deserves a little celebration for the BIG day!

  7. Thanks for all of the suggestions! I will be sure to remind the guests about the food, although I'm mainly worried about the little little ones (1-3 years). I love the idea about getting the bigger kids involved in helping :) I can't believe the party is only three days away!



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